I can’t help myself and am giving attention to an inanity that is well…just plain silly. I cannot decide whether this is some very good fictional writing or a talentless hack getting paid for making a mockery of writing. Probably both.
Pretty danged scary fiction at that!
“The Written Testament is the shorter of the two. Apparently, the aliens didn’t like to read much,” said Dr. Johnson. “The text explains that Oprahs exist on many worlds. There are probably colonies of them throughout the universe, possibly a Planet of the Oprahs. They all spring from the Oprah who wrote the alien bible. It is likely that Earth’s own Ms. Winfrey is descended from these beings.
“The Oral Testament actually speaks to the reader,” Dr. Johnson revealed. “Naturally, it talks in the authoritative but reassuring voice of Oprah.
“It begins with a section called ‘Syndication,’ which encourages aliens to do good deeds on other worlds, including the Earth,” Dr. Johnson continued. “We suspect that the alien visitors who owned this bible were missionaries, members of Oprah’s ‘The Angel Connection.’ It instructs acolytes on the basics of worship, including the use of something called ‘the remote.’
Talk about nightmares to keep you awake at night. Whew!
