Unclogging the drain

There’s a lot of construction going on downtown and apparently somebody made a boo-boo by cutting through a power line. Our entire office building went dark (as did a large portion of downtown Lincoln) and while the power was off for only ten minutes we’re still waiting for our networks to get back online. So while I wait I’m going to try to get this stuff that’s been collecting in my head and on scraps of paper into some sort of coherent form. Forgive me my bullet points.

• It seems I’ve become aware of a lot of death lately. People I know, people I don’t know, people who I don’t know but are known by people I know. From infants to teenagers to adults. Every one of them someone’s child. Every one of them leaving behind a grieving parent or parents. Death is a part of life…the great “circle of life” and all that. I get it, believe me. As a Catholic I believe I’m more acutely aware of it than I ever was pre-Catholicism and I’m glad my children don’t think of death as some foreign icky thing to be avoided at all cost. I wish I had more time to explain this now but unfortunately I don’t.
• Back to the recent awareness with death. A good friend of mine lost a son recently. He was in his twenties. Stacye is a writer and once some time passed she did as I knew she’d do: she wrote about it. And then did so again. And again. Beautifully in fact, and with the grace I knew she possessed. Naturally she has cut way back on posting things on Facebook and writing in general, at least publically. She may be keeping a private journal of her own thoughts. I hope she is. Because if I’m right she needs to write…needs to bring order to her thoughts and the swirling whirling emotions that have surrounded her in this time.
• Confession: I really hate writing. I hate it for the very reason stated above. Because I find myself almost hourly finding a subject to write about, some of them even interesting, that I want to share with others. But also that I want to share with myself and in some small way bring an order to the massive globstopper in my brain that seems to clutter up the place. I have to write it down as a means of eliminating clutter, and if I can help someone along the way by means of an understanding than it’s a bonus, baby. By placing it in the trash, or at times the recycling bin, I am able to keep it from growing out of control and stinking up the place. But damn it I wish it wasn’t that way sometimes. I wish I could just take something in by means of one of the senses and immediately let it go. But instead it ferments too long and then I don’t get wine. I get grape juice. And really crappy grape juice at that that leaves nothing but a headache behind. So I hate writing.

Not being able to write didn't work out so well for this guy.

• And that is precisely why I love to write.
• About the same time as my friend’s loss the dad I know across the street from our house also lost a child, his 16-year old son. I’ve written a little about it here. A few weeks later he and I were standing on his curb talking. While we spoke he kept glancing into my front yard where my two youngest were running and screaming and playing. “They grow up so fast, Jeff,” he said. And then he told me three things: “Play with your kids. Take them out for ice cream. Remember all of it.” And then he hugged me and went inside his house.
• Here’s what’s been marinating since he told me these three things. I am a steward of my children. I think all parents know this on some level. My oldest is 16, but I’m making a note to ask my friend Stacye sometime how she feels about it. My guess is that it never stops. As a Christian when talk turns to the principles of stewardship we mention three: time, talent and treasure. Time is another word for prayer; Talent is our service towards the Church and our fellow man; and Treasure is our tithing or monetary contributions towards worthy causes. So for weeks now I’ve been trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and write a clever blogpost about what this father said to me, kids, parenting and stewardship. The closest I came was
  • Time = Remember all of it.
  • Talent = Play with your kids.
  • Treasure = Take them out for ice cream.
• Or something like that. Either way, I thought his advice was pitch-perfect. But I couldn’t seem to unclog the drain and write it down.
• In both instances, Stacye and the dad across the street, I failed to reach out to them. I don’t know why I froze up when it counted, but I did. I told myself that I’d give them time to get through the first few days and week or so of numbness and being overwhelmed by it all, including all of the visitors and well-wishers. After that initial rush we are left alone, and that is when we need someone the most. So I waited. And then I began to feel I’d waited too long. Then I felt uncomfortable for having waited too long and I certainly couldn’t call or talk to them then, right? I cannot believe how poorly I did at this. Fail.
• A little over a week ago this email landed in one of my inboxes: “Special prayers are needed for Kirk N. and Family (wife Tania, sons Jordan, Ethan, & Gabriel) as they lost their unborn baby girl Thursday night. May God fill their hearts with strength & courage during this time of extreme sorrow.” Almost to the second I got a text from my wife to call her. She’d heard the news too.
• I didn’t meet Kirk until last fall when he initiated a men’s Bible Study/Prayer program at our parish called “That Man Is You”. We met for 13 weeks in the fall, took a break for Christmas/New Year’s, and just finished up the 13 weeks of the spring “semester.” We met every Wednesday morning from 6:30 to 7:30am (“we” being around 50 men) and it has been a real blessing to us men and our marriages, relationships, etc. Kirk is a quiet, unassuming man who once you get to know him…well, let’s just say the well runs deep within him. He’s one of those guys who doesn’t say much, but when he does you want to listen.
• Kirk’s wife Tania had just entered into the Catholic faith at the Easter Vigil under two weeks ago. A week ago on Wednesday morning as our prayer group was finishing up I asked Kirk how the Vigil had gone. He smiled broadly and said it was fantastic and that the boys (in grades 7, 4 and 1) were all so happy for their mom. And in just a few weeks they would be welcoming their new daughter. Life was wonderful.
• Except that twenty-four hours later it wasn’t so wonderful. Having noticed that she hadn’t felt the baby move that day Tania went to her doctor. There she received the worst news any of us could receive. For reasons unknown her little girl had died. Sunday morning at 3am she was induced and delivered little Sophia Gianna Therese. Our pastor was there to baptize Sophia and mourn with the family. Gianna was the confirmation name Tania had chosen when she became Catholic just a week before. St. Gianna Beretta Molla, pray for them.
• I found a short, beautiful poem when I was writing this.
• Yesterday morning I attended the funeral Mass for little Sophia. Her dad and her grandfather carried her tiny white coffin to the front of our church where it rested on the tiniest funeral bier I’ve seen. I went early, so as to sit in the pew alone with my thoughts. I prayed the Office for the Dead from the Liturgy of the Hours. The last lines of the opening hymn are

In him all our sorrow,
in him all our joy.

In him hope of glory,
in him all our love.

In him our redemption,
in him all our grace.

In him our salvation,
in him all our peace.

• I find Catholic funerals much more comforting, and I suppose that comes as no great surprise. I do because like a proper Catholic wedding, the main reason we are there is to honor God. God is the center and the emphasis of the event. Not the bride or the happy couple. And not the honored dead. Of course, they are prominent and we are there to honor them and their memory, but the focus remains on God and our faith, whether within the Sacrament of Marriage and the union of the man and woman, or in the hope of joining Christ in the Resurrection.
• The readings, music, and homily by Fr. Johnson were perfect. I was a mess through the first part of the Mass but I composed myself and focused on the liturgy. That was a tremendous help.
• And then the three brothers processed to the front with the offeratory gifts before the Liturgy of the Eucharist while the pianist sang a moving version of Ten Thousand Angels. Cue water faucets.
• For some reason I thought back to when I was a teenager and my thoughts turned to funerals. I remember thinking that for my own funeral I wanted something angst-ridden like Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” or “Dust in the Wind” by Kansas played at my funeral. Thank God that didn’t happen.
• And not just because of the crappy funeral music. But because I’m still, you know…here.
• If I were to choose now, I’d lean more towards having a slower version of this song played at my funeral Mass. That and a little Mozart for good measure.
• Kirk said a few brief words at the end of his daughter’s funeral about how much the family had appreciated all the prayers to give them strength to get through this time. He mentioned a quote by Saint Faustina that he’d read in her diary (a book I highly recommend as one of the pillars of spiritual reading). I wish I’d captured it correctly, but paraphrasing her she’d said “Sometimes God creates children for his own purposes.” Kirk said it brought him great comfort to think that perhaps that was his daughter’s role.
• While I can’t recall  the exact quote above, I did find this one from an early Father of the Church, St. Gregory of Nyssa:

Well, your child may have departed from you, but he has gone to Christ the Lord. For you his eyes have been shut, but they are opened to the eternal light: he is gone from your table, but is now added to the table of angels. The plant was uprooted from here, but planted in paradise. From the earthly kingdom he was transferred to the heavenly kingdom. You see what was exchanged for what. Are you sad because you no longer see the beauty of the face of your child? But this happens, because you do not see the real beauty of the soul with which he rejoices in the heavenly feast. How beautiful indeed is the eye that sees God! How sweet indeed is the mouth that is adorned with divine melodies!

• All of these events remind us that life does go on. It really is a big, and whole, circle. We’re born, we live, we die. We recently spent forty days of preparation for Easter, experiencing the triumph of Palm Sunday, and the agonies of Christ’s Passion. We celebrated the victory of Easter and the Resurrection, and thus began fifty days of celebration. Forty days to prepare for a fifty day party. I’ll take it. But even during the party there will be reminders that the struggle on this earthly plane continue. Since Easter we celebrated Divine Mercy Sunday, children have received their First Holy Communion, prayer groups continue as do weddings and funerals. We have mourned and we have celebrated. We continue to be the best stewards we can be. We are the Church Militant on earth, waiting to ultimately join the Church Triumphant in Heaven.
• Last thoughts: After the funeral I went home to change for work. The house was empty except for our beagle puppy Buster, so I took him out to the backyard to enjoy some sunshine before I had to drive to work. I sat on the park bench in the little garden area (a work in progress) while he frolicked in the warm sunshine, rolling around in the grass and soaking in every ray of the sun possible.
• While I sat there a squirrel perched in one of the tall evergreen trees in our fence line chirked angrily at Buster. And I mean this squirrel went off. I laughed out loud because years ago when we still had our first dog, Fenway, we rented a house that had a large oak tree in the middle of the small back yard where he would trap squirrels. They were climb down to the lowest branch possible and chew him out for treeing them. I love that memory. Looks like I’ll be hearing more of it (the chirking) going forward.
• Sitting on the weatherworn bench I make a note to myself to replace the wood slats. These are getting a little weak having been exposed to the elements for a few years. Twelve small pieces of lumber should do the trick. And then I decide it’s time to build the wooden arbor trellis over the bench, too. And thus a summer project is born.
• Is there anything more wonderful than working with our hands? For my money there is nothing more satisfying than creating or working on something in this manner. It’s almost divine. Maybe it is.
• Before going inside I decide to join Buster for a roll around the grass and soak up some of the sun’s rays. Why should he have all the fun? So I do. Therapy.
• I hate writing. I love it so.

***

Plunger to the face image source.

A spring cleaning of the soul

This Lent I’ve chosen to focus on the elimination of clutter in my life. In both the mental/emotional and physical sense, but mostly in the physical sense. This announcement was greeted with a huge grin from my wife and a hearty “Hallelujah!” Nonplussed, I spent a weekend cleaning out our 4-drawer file cabinet and shredding seven full trash bags of paper. It was our first purchase when we were married almost nineteen years ago and it appears that we simply threw everything in there.

(I did find a stack of football/baseball cards and the top one was a John Elway rookie card. A quick search online and it appears this thing is worth anywhere from $30-$129. Hmmmm…what else needs cleaning?)

I think what’s really hit me this Lent is developing a sense of detachment from the things of this world. To simply let go and not hold so tight to my possessions. After all, it is all fleeting and things fade away. And I won’t be taking it with me once I’m gone, so before I burden my wife/kids/family with the task of sorting through all the schtuff I’ve begun a preemptive strike. It actually feels pretty good once you begin and I’ve been surprised by the nagging feeling I get now as I see another pile of books, or papers, or videos, or compact discs, etc. It’s actually very liberating once you start.

So that’s the physical end of things. But what about the mental…or the emotional? Isn’t there a lot of baggage and clutter there, too? In both my heart and my mind I know for a fact I’m either dragging it around or building little piles in the corners and shelves of my inner self. Just as I don’t want my family to have to sort through a lot of things, I don’t want to have to begin eternity by doing the same thing. I am dealing with them now, and “straightening up my room” so to speak. This has involved prayer and the sacraments, in particular the Sacrament of Confession. It occured to me that by going to confession I’m participating in an activity similar to what I used to go through when I was preparing to leave a house or apartment I was renting. I would have to go through each room, cleaning walls and carpets and tubs and sinks. Or repairing the nail holes and blemishes on the walls and/or removing stains from the carpet. The landlord usually provided a checklist and this served as a guide to ensure nothing was missed in order to get my full deposit back upon leaving.

God has done this too. He is our landlord and he has provided us with a checklist. When’s the last time you went over it with Him? 

An examination of conscience based upon the ten commandments is usually a good place to begin. BeginningCatholic.com has an excellent guide here, and I downloaded a copy of this PDF from LifeTeen at my desk to use when I walk to St. Mary’s for confession prior to Mass at noon. Even if you’re not a Catholic nor go to confession it’s not a bad place to start.

Fabreeze or a carpet shampoo will take care of the carpet cleaning in the apartment. God uses His grace to clean the stains from your soul. The deposit you receive back is pretty good I’d say: eternity in Heaven with Him.

As if to drive this concept home, I came across this exceprt from a sermon by Saint Augustine the other day.

Our wish, you see, is to attain an eternal life. We wish to reach the place where nobody dies, but if possible we do not want to get there via death. We would like to be whisked away there while we are still alive and see our bodies changed, while we are alive, into that spiritual form into which they are to be changed when we rise again. Who wouldn’t like that? Isn’t it what everybody wants? But while that is what you want, you are told, Quit. Remember what you have sung in the psalm: “A lodger am I on earth.” If you are a lodger, you are staying in someone else’s house; if you are staying in someone else’s house, you quit when the landlord bids you. And the landlord is bound to tell you to quit sooner or later, and he has not guaranteed you a long stay. After all, he did not sign a contract with you. Seeing that you are lodging with him for nothing, you quit when he tells you to. And this, too, has to be put up with, and for this, too, patience is very necessary. – St. Augustine, Sermon 359A.8.

Psalm 119:49-56. Comfort in My Afflictions

[Admin: This stanza struck me as especially relevant during these times...this Lent...this season of affliction.]

Those that make God’s promises their portion, may with humble boldness make them their plea…

PSALM 119:49-56

ZAIN.
49 Remember your word to your servant, in which you have made me hope.

• Here the psalmist does not intimate that God can forget, but shows his fervor, (St. Augustine) and begs that he may be worthy to receive the effects of God’s promises. (St. Hilary)

50 This is my comfort in my affliction that your promise gives me life.

• “This is my consolation in my distress.” (St. Jerome)
• The expectation of your promises has given me courage. (Worthington)

51 Godless men utterly deride me, but I do not turn away from your law.

• But I continued to observe thy law with patience, notwithstanding their provocations.

52 When I think of your ordinances from of old, I take comfort, O LORD.

• Of old. Upon the rebel angels, and sinful men, whom thou wilt punish for ever. This encourages me to adhere to the cause of virtue. (Worthington)
• In many dangers our ancestors have been protected by God. Is his arm shortened, or are we no longer his people? (Calmet)
• Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal which comes upon you to prove you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice in so far as you share Christ’s suffering, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. (1 Peter 4:12-14)

53 Hot indignation seizes me because of the wicked, who forsake your law.

• So much was the psalmist grieved at the sight of sinners! (Berthier)
• Apostates particularly filled him with horror. (Calmet)

54 Your statutes have been my songs in the house of my pilgrimage.

• Song. Here on earth I am comforted with singing the praises of thy law, which makes the observers just. (Worthington)
• Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as you teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your heart to God. (Colossians 3:16)
• For we are strangers before you, and sojourners, as all our fathers were; our days on the earth are like a shadow, and there is no abiding. (1 Chronicles 29:15)
• But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city. (Hebrews 11:16)
• These pious exercises were opposed to the scandalous discourses of sinners. (Berthier)

55 I remember your name in the night, O LORD, and keep your law.

• Night. Of tribulation, (Worthington) and captivity. (Calmet)

56 This blessing has fallen to me, that I have kept your precepts.

*****

We are instructed in all this, but the prophet has already experienced it. He says, “This hope has consoled me in my humility, for your word has given me life.” The hope is the hope that God has implanted in him. It has consoled him “in his humility,” that is, when he is spurned, mocked, vexed by injustices, dishonored by insults, for he knows that he is soldiering through his present trials. But the hope instilled by the Lord consoles him in these wars endured in his weakness, and he is lent life by the utterances of God. By these he knows that the glory of his weakness is outstanding in heaven. He knows that his soul, renewed by the utterances of God, contains within it, so to say, the nourishment of eternal life. He lives by God’s utterances and is untroubled by the empty fame of the proud, for he knows that his need is richer than their wealth. He knows that his fasting is abundantly fed by the blessing of heaven and the gospel and that his humility will be rewarded by the glorious prize of honor. So he added, “The arrogant mock me without restraint, but I do not turn from your law.” – Hilary of Poitiers, Homily on Psalm 118.

*Hilary of Poitiers (315-367) was Bishop of Poitiers and called the “Athanasius of the West” because of his defense (against the Arians) of the common nature of Father of Son.

He that by his Spirit works faith in us, will work for us. The word of God speaks comfort in affliction. If, through grace, it makes us holy, there is enough in it to make us easy, in all conditions. Let us be certain we have the Divine law for what we believe, and then let not scoffers prevail upon us to decline from it. God’s judgments of old comfort and encourage us, for he is still the same. Sin is horrible in the eyes of all that are sanctified. In the season of affliction, and in the silent hours of the night, he remembers the name of the Lord, and is stirred up to keep the law. (source)

Psalm 119:41-48. Grace before the kings of this world

Admin: I began this Lenten exercise regarding Psalm 119 (118) as much for myself as anyone in order to learn more about the longest Psalm in Scripture. I plan to continue to post as often as I can in the hopes of completing it before Easter. However, as is often the case, outside circumstances have conspired to fill my schedule. Last Wednesday I began facilitating a weekly 90 minute meeting at our parish involving over 95 people in viewing and discussing Fr. Barron’s excellent Catholicism series. Add to this my oldest son’s high school baseball schedule, the continued plodding along while writing my book, and the adoption of a beagle puppy taking place in the coming one or two weeks, well…you get the idea. However I would heartily encourage those of you intent upon learning more about this psalm to check out the excellent work being done by Kate over at Austalia Incognita. She is putting together a terrific presentation on the stanzas of this psalm which I admit I have tried hard to avoid lest I be too discouraged to continue. (I’m smiling and kidding as I typed that, but not too much.) Be sure to check out her series, also cross-posted on her blog Psallam Domino. You won’t be disappointed.

*****

Lord, I have by faith thy mercies in view; let me by prayer prevail to obtain them…

PSALM 119:41-48

VAU.
41 Let your mercy come to me, O LORD, your salvation according to your promise;

• Salvation. The Messiah, foretold by the prophets:
• The sceptor shall not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until he comes to whom it belongs; and to him shall be the obedience of the peoples. (Genesis 49:10)
• or grace, freely promised to all who ask for it:
• Since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, they are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus. (Romans 3:23-24)
• For the grace of God has appeared for the salvation of all men, training us to renounce irreligion and worldly passions, and to live sober, upright, and godly lives in this world, awaiting our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all iniquity and to purify for himself a people of his own who are zealous for good deeds. (Titus 2:11-14)

42 then shall I have an answer for those who taunt me, for I trust in your word.

• Thus he stops their mouths, by professing his confidence in God. (Haydock)
• The Babylonians insultingly ask, Where is their God? If you free me from captivity, I may reply that my hopes were not vain. This answer I will give boldly, if I obtain your grace, which will strengthen my weakness. (Worthington)

43 And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth, for my hope is in your ordinances.

• Mouth. Let those who preach the truth, live up to it. (St. Hilary and St. Ambrose)
• Though the psalmist may be under some fear, he prays that he may not omit to make open profession of his faith. God never hinders his servants from doing this, though he sometimes allows them to fall. But the Church will never cease to proclaim the truth. She will not give up one article of faith. (Berthier)

44 I will keep your law continually, for ever and ever;

• The sanction of the law will remain after this world is at an end.

45 and I shall walk at liberty, for I have sought your precepts.

• David had already observed this line of conduct, which he resolved always to pursue. (Haydock)
• Those who suffer for the faith, receive great joy. (Worthington)

46 I will also speak of your testimonies before kings, and shall not be put to shame;

• Thus many even of the female sex have professed their faith boldly, with St. Agnes, St. Catharine, St. Winefrid, etc., answering the reproachful objections that were put to them, as if it were dishonorable to be a Christian or Catholic. No. These are most glorious titles, importing the true service of Christ, in unity with the Catholic Church, and under the Vicar of Jesus Christ, the Pope. (Worthington)
• Daniel spoke with great freedom to Nebuchadnezzar:
• Daniel answered the king, “No wise men, enchanters, magicians, or astrologers can show to the king the mystery which the king has asked, buut there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries, and he has made known to King Nebuuchadnezzar what will be in the latter days…” (Daniel 2:27-28)
• Then Daniel answered before the king, “Let your gifts be for yourself, and give your rewards to another; nevertheless I will read the writing to the king and make known to him the interpretation.” (Daniel 5:17)
• “My God sent his angel and shut the lions’ mouths, and they have not hurt me, because I was found blameless before him; and also before you, O king, I have done no wrong.” (Daniel 6:22)

47 for I find my delight in your commandments, which I love.

48 I revere your commandments, which I love, and I will meditate on your statutes.

• To pray, labor, or rather to swear an eternal fidelity. (Calmet)

*****

In these verses there is an apparent holy fear; the man of God is trembling in the hope that the Lord will not remove favor from him. These verses are a pleading for grace.

And when the salvation of the saints is completed, it will plainly appear that it was not in vain to trust in God’s word. We need to pray that we may never be afraid or ashamed to own God’s truths and ways before men. And the psalmist resolves to keep God’s law, in a constant course of obedience, without backsliding. The service of sin is slavery; the service of God is liberty. There is no full happiness, or perfect liberty, but in keeping God’s law. We must never be ashamed or afraid to own our religion. The more delight we take in the service of God, the nearer we come to perfection. Not only consent to his law as good, but take pleasure in it as good for us. Let me put forth all the strength I have, to do it. Something of this mind of Christ is in every true disciple. (source)

Psalm 119:33-40. Seek Christ and Flee Worldly Things

Teach me thy statutes, not the mere words, but the way of applying them to myself…

PSALM 119:33-40

HE.
33 Teach me, O LORD, the way of your statutes; and I will keep it to the end.

• Make me love thy commandments. (Haydock)

34 Give me understanding, that I may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart.

• Enable me to keep and to understand your law, Lord.
• We must observe what we know, that we may receive greater lights. (Haydock)

35 Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it.

• Free-will concurs with grace.

36 Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to gain!

• Either of money, or any unlawful object.
• For the love of money is the root of all evils; it is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced their hearts with many pangs. But as for you, man of God, shun all this; aim at righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (1 Tim 6:10-12)

37 Turn my eyes from looking at vanities; and give me life in your ways.

• Vanity. Idols, worldly prosperity, etc.
• Transgression speaks to the wicked deep in his heart; there is no fear of God before his eyes. For he flatters himself in his own eyes that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated. The words of his mouth are mischief and deceit; he has ceased to act wisely and do good. He plots mischief while on his bed; he sets himself in a way that is not good; he spurns not evil. Your mercy, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mountains of God, your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O LORD. How precious is your mercy, O God! The children of men take refuge in the shadow of your wings. (Ps 36:1-7)
• We must pray that God will take away the occasions of sin, and help us to advance in virtue.

38 Confirm to your servant your promise, which is for those who fear you.

39 Turn away the reproach which I dread; for your ordinances are good.

• Reproach. Hidden sins of thought, (St. Ambrose) or the sarcasms of the Babylonians.
• Sin is odious, because it is contrary to God’s law, which is most delightful.
• The saints have been often ridiculed.
• O LORD, you have deceived me, and I was deceived; you are stronger than I, and you have prevailed. I have become a laughingstock all the day; every one mocks me. (Jer 20:7)
• And as he thus made his defense, Festus said with a loud voice, “Paul, you are mad; your great learning is turning you mad.” But Paul said, “I am not mad, most excellent Festus, but I am speaking the sober truth.” (Acts 26:24)

40 Behold, I long for your precepts; in your righteousness give me life!

• The just prays for greater perfection, and for perseverance.

*****

Therefore David, who had experienced those very glances that are dangerous for a man, aptly says that the one is blessed whose every hope is in the name of God. For such a person does not have regard to worthless things and follies if he always strives toward Christ and always looks on Christ with his inner eyes. For this reason David turned to God again and said, “Turn away my eyes, that they may not see vanity.” “All things are vanity!” as Ecclesiastes said, all things that are in this world. Accordingly, let one who wishes to be saved ascend above the world, let him seek the Word who is with God, let him flee from this world and depart from the earth. For one cannot comprehend that which exists and exists always, unless he has first fled from here. On this account also, the Lord, wishing to approach God the Father, said to the apostles, “Arise, let us go from here.” – Ambrose, Flight From The World 1.4.

*Ambrose of Milan (333-397) was Bishop of Milan and a teacher of Augustine who defended the divinity of the Holy Spirit and the perpetual virginity of Mary.

God, by his Spirit, gives a right understanding. But the Spirit of revelation in the word will not suffice, unless we have the Spirit of wisdom in the heart. God puts his Spirit within us, causing us to walk in his statutes. The sin here prayed against is covetousness. Those that would have the love of God rooted in them, must get the love of the world rooted out; for the friendship of the world is enmity with God. Beholding vanity deadens us, and slackens our pace; a traveler must not stand gazing upon every object that presents itself to his view. The promises of God’s word greatly relate to the preservation of the true believer. When Satan has drawn a child of God into worldly compliances, he will reproach him with the falls into which he led him. Victory must come from the cross of Christ. When we enjoy the sweetness of God’s precepts, it will make us long for more acquaintance with them. (source)

Psalm 119:25-32. Strengthened by God’s Word

While the souls of the children of this world cleave to the earth as their portion, the children of light are greatly burdened, because of the remains of carnal affections in their hearts…

PSALM 119:25-32

DALETH.
25 My soul clings to the dust; revive me according to your word!

• The just, in great distress, beg to be delivered, conformably to God’s promise.
• …for a perishable body weighs down the soul, and this earthy tent burdens the thoughtful mind. (Wisdom 9:15)
• So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I of myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. (Romans 7:24.)

26 When I told of my ways, you answered me; teach me your statutes!

• Ways. Or sins.

27 Make me understand the way of your precepts, and I will meditate on your wondrous works.

28 My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word!

• Here the soul is in such a state of anxiety as to be almost distracted; weighed down to the point of slumber.
• Hence the three apostles slept: And when he rose from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping for sorrow, and he said to them, “Why do you sleep? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation.” (Luke 22:45-46)
• Acedia, or torpor of mind, apathy, depression; hinders the persecution of any business.

29 Put false ways far from me; and graciously teach me your law! 

• Iniquity. Hebrew, “lying.” Let me not imitate the wicked. (Haydock)
• Remit the punishment of my sins.
• He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from those who hated me; for they were too mighty for me. (Psalm 18:17)
• And protect me from falling.

30 I have chosen the way of faithfulness, I set your ordinances before me.

31 I cling to your testimonies, O LORD; let me not be put to shame!

32 I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my understanding!

• Man runs, but God must impart grace.
• An enlarged heart sometimes denotes the capacity of understanding: And God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding beyond measure, and largeness of mind like the sand on the seashore, so that Solomon’s wisdom surpassed the wisdom of all the people of the east, and all the wisdom of Egypt. (1 Kings 4:29)
• It is a singular mercy of God to make us love his commands. – St. Augustine

*****

“And you,” it says, “may dwell securely in your land.” The wicked person is never secure but is always disturbed and wavering. He is tossed about by every wind of doctrine to deceitful error, by the craftiness of people. However, the just person who observes God’s law dwells in security on his land, because he governs his body in fear of God and brings it into subjection. His understanding is firm when he says to God, “Strengthen me according to your words, O Lord.” Strengthened, secure and well-rooted, he dwells on the earth, founded in faith. His house is not built on sand but is established on solid ground. – Caesarius of Arles, Sermon 105.4.

*Caesarius of Arles (470-543) Bishop of Arles renowned for his attention to his pastoral duties. Among his surviving works the most important is a collection of some 238 sermons that display an ability to preach Christian doctrine to a variety of audiences.

It is unspeakable comfort to a gracious soul, to think with what tenderness all its complaints are received by a gracious God. We can talk of the wonders of redeeming love, when we understand the way of God’s precepts, and walk in that way. The penitent melts in sorrow for sin: even the patient spirit may melt in the sense of affliction, it is then its interest to pour out its soul before God. The way of lying means all false ways by which men deceive themselves and others, or are deceived by Satan and his instruments. Those who know and love the law of the Lord, desire to know it more, and love it better. The way of serious godliness is the way of truth; the only true way to happiness: we must always have actual regard to it. Those who stick to the word of God, may in faith expect and pray for acceptance with God. God, by his Spirit, enlarges the hearts of his people when he gives them wisdom. The believer prays to be set free from sin. (source)

Dream of Solomon by Luca Giordano

Psalm 119:17-24. Listen and Meditate on God’s Word

While compiling and writing this piece on this portion of the psalm tonight my mind naturally turned to the state of events in our own country today. Like Abraham and Daniel before us, we find ourselves sojourners in an at times very foreign land ruled by princes who are hostile to our faith and lay traps through legislation or the fiat of executive orders. We knew this was part of the gig when we signed up as Christians and that the cross would be heavy. Preparing ourselves and having our “eyes opened” to God’s laws is very important if we are to be equipped to face what may lie ahead.

*****

If God deals in strict justice with us, we all perish…

PSALM 119:17-24

GIMEL.
17 Deal bountifully with thy servant, that I may live and observe thy word.

• I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me. (Ps 13:6)
• Draw me from this state of oppression, or rather, give me abundant grace, and eternal life. (St. Hilary)
• I cannot fulfill the law without thy grace.

18 Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.

• Law. This God will enable me to perceive, as his law is too much above my comprehension.

19 I am a sojourner on earth; hide not thy commandments from me!

• Earth. At Babylon, or in the world, which is a pilgrimage, and I am unacquainted with the roads.
• By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place which he was to receive as an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was to go. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of he same promise. For he looked forward to the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God. (Heb 11:8-10)

20 My soul is consumed with longing for thy ordinances at all times.

• If I have but a short time to live, I ardently seek for instruction, and wish to advance daily in virtue. David’s humility makes him fear, lest his desire should not be sincere. (Haydock)

21 Thou dost rebuke the insolent, accursed ones, who wander from thy commandments;

• Cursed. Becoming victims of hell.
• “Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom his master has set over his household, to give them their food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whom his master when he comes will find so doing. Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions. But if that wicked servant says to himself, ‘My master is delayed,’ and begins to beat his fellow servants, and eats and drinks with the drunken, the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, and will punish him, and put him with the hypocrites; there men will weep and gnash their teeth. (Mt 24:45-51)
• ‘Cursed be he who does not confirm the words of this law by doing them.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’ (Deut 27:26)

22 take away from me their scorn and contempt, for I have kept thy testimonies.

23 Even though princes sit plotting against me, thy servant will meditate on thy statutes.

• Princes. Thus Daniel was treated: It pleased Darius to set over the kingdom a hundred and twenty satraps, to be throughout the whole kingdom; and over them three presidents, of whom Daniel was one, to whom these satraps should give account, so that the king might suffer no loss. Then this Daniel became distinguished above all the other presidents and satraps, because an excellent spirit was in him; and the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom. Then the presidents and the satraps sought to find a ground for complaint against Daniel with regard to the kingdom; but they could find no ground for complaint or any fault, because he was faithful, and no error or fault was found in him. Then these men said, “We shall not find any ground for complaint against this Daniel unless we find it in connection with the law of his God.” (Dan 6:1-5)
• Indeed all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. (2 Tim 3:12)
• The servant of God will adhere to his duty, though his adversaries may be very powerful.

24 Thy testimonies are my delight, they are my counselors.

• The laws of God afford the best advice.
• An ancient king observed, that the dead were the best counselors, as they will not flatter. It is because of this that we turn to the wisdom of the saints who came before us. For they immersed themselves in the Word of God and in His precepts. They sugarcoat nothing in describing the trials they faced, both inwardly in dryness or struggles with prayer; or outwardly when faced with scorn, persecution and even martyrdom.

*****

God does not wish us merely to listen to the words and phrases contained in the Scriptures but to do so with a great deal of prudent reflection. Therefore, blessed David frequently prefixed to his psalms the expression “a meditation” and also said, “Open my eyes, and I will consider the wondrous things of your law.” And after him, his son (Solomon) also pointed out by way of instruction that one must seek for wisdom even as for silver, or, rather, to trade in it more than in gold. – Chrysostom, Homilies on the Gospel of John 15.

*John Chrysostom (344/354-407) Bishop of Constantinople who was noted for his orthodoxy, his eloquence and his attacks on Christian laxity in high places.

We ought to spend our lives in God’s service; we shall find true life in keeping His word. Those that would see the wondrous things of God’s law and gospel, must beg Him to give them understanding, by the light of His Spirit. Believers feel themselves strangers on earth; they fear missing their way, and losing comfort by erring from God’s commandments. Every sanctified soul hungers after the word of God, as food which there is no living without. There is something of pride at the bottom of every willful sin. God can silence lying lips; reproach and contempt may humble and do us good, and then they shall be removed. Do we find the weight of the cross is more than we are able to bear? He that bore it for us will enable us to bear it; upheld by Him we cannot sink. It is sad when those who should protect the innocent, are their betrayers. May the Lord direct us in exercising repentance of sin, and faith in Christ. (source)

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Psalm 119:9-16. One Remains Pure by Keeping God’s Word

To original corruption all have added actual sin…

PSALM 119:9-16

BETH.
9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to thy word. 

• The observance of the law is the only method to preserve innocence, or to regain it. (Haydock) The Holy Ghost gives this direction to youth, and to all who are exposed to the dangers of pleasure, as David might do to his son. In the same sense we pray, Lead us not into temptation. (Mt 6:13)

10 With my whole heart I seek thee; let me not wander from thy commandments!

• Literally “do not cast me off.” The just, or the Church in general, here confess that perseverance is a gift of God. (Haydock)

11 I have laid up thy word in my heart, that I might not sin against thee.

• Heart. Here we guard against the temptations of vanity. Moses had given the letter of the law only, insinuating, that it must be kept with all the heart, as David more fully explains.

12 Blessed be thou, O LORD; teach me thy statutes!

• The psalmist considers himself as placed at the feet of his divine Master. Though he was just, he wished to increase in virtue.

13 With my lips I declare all the ordinances of thy mouth.

• I have concealed them in my heart. Now I am not ashamed to publish them.

14 In the way of thy testimonies I delight as much as in all riches.

• I give your law preference, Lord.
• The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; (Ps 19:7-8)

15 I will meditate on thy precepts, and fix my eyes on thy ways.

16 I will delight in thy statutes; I will not forget thy word.

*****

Let us listen, then, to the master of precaution: “I said, I will pay attention to my ways”; that is, “I said to myself: in the silent biddings of my thoughts, I have enjoined on myself, that I should pay attention to my ways.” Some ways there are that we ought to follow; others as to which we ought to pay attention. We must follow the ways of the Lord and pay attention to our own ways, lest they lead us into sin. One can pay attention if one is not hasty in speaking. The law says, “Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God (Deut 6:4). It is not “speak” but “hear.” Eve fell because she said to the man what she had not heard from the Lord her God. The first word from God says to you, Hear! If you hear, pay attention to your ways; and if you have fallen, quickly amend your way.For “how does a young person amend his way; except by paying attention to the word of the Lord?” Be silent therefore first of all, and listen, so that you do not fail in your tongue. – Ambrose*, Duties of the Clergy, 1.2.7.

*Ambrose of Milan (333-397) was Bishop of Milan and a teacher of Augustine who defended the divinity of the Holy Spirit and the perpetual virginity of Mary.

The ruin of the young is either living by no rule at all, or choosing false rules: instead let them walk by Scripture rules. To doubt of our own wisdom and strength, and to depend upon God, proves the purpose of holiness is sincere. God’s word is treasure worth laying up, and there is no laying it up safe but in our hearts. And those whose hearts are fed with the bread of life, should with their lips feed many. In the way of God’s commandments there is the unsearchable riches of Christ. But we do not meditate on God’s precepts to good purpose, unless our good thoughts produce good works.

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Psalm 119:1-8. Humanity’s Greatest Happiness

This portion of the psalm may be considered as the statement of a believer’s experience…

PSALM 119:1-8

ALEPH.
1 Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the LORD!

• All aim at happiness, but only the virtuous take the proper means to attain it. (St. Augustine)

2 Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, 

• His testimonies. The commandments of God are called his testimonies, because they testify his holy will unto us. We must search the law, not out of curiosity, but to practice it; otherwise we shall become more guilty. (Haydock)

3 who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways! 

• Ways. They may, however, repent. The just are subject to fall.
• If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. – 1 Jn 1:8

4 Thou hast commanded thy precepts to be kept diligently. 

• Diligently. Literally “too much.” But this is a Hebrew idiom, to imply the greatest diligence. (Haydock)

5 O that my ways may be steadfast in keeping thy statutes! 

• O! that. Conscious of his own insufficiency, the psalmist prays for grace to be justified. Moses acknowledged that man could not observe the law without Christ.
• “For this commandment which I command you this day is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will go up for us to heaven, and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will go over the sea for us, and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ But the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.” – Deut 30:11-14.
• Moses writes that the man who practices the righteousness which is based on the law shall live by it. But the righteousness based on faith says, Do not say in your heart, “Who will ascent into heaven?” (that is, to bring Christ down) or “Who will descend into the abyss?” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). But what does it say? The word is near you, on your lips and in your heart (that is, the word of faith which we preach); because, if you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For man believe with his heart and so is justified, and he confesses with his lips and so is saved. – Romans 10:5-10.

6 Then I shall not be put to shame, having my eyes fixed on all thy commandments. 

• All. At the day of judgment, it will not suffice to have observed only some of the commandments. (St. Jerome & St. Ambrose)

7 I will praise thee with an upright heart, when I learn thy righteous ordinances. 

• A hymn of praise is not fitting on the lips of a sinner, for it has not been sent from the Lord. For a hymn of praise should be uttered in wisdom, and the Lord will prosper it. – Sirach 15:9-10.

8 I will observe thy statutes; O forsake me not utterly!

• Utterly. It may be advantageous to us to be left awhile, that we may know our own weakness. (St. Gregory)
• He (and you) may always at least have recourse to prayer: Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. – 1 Thess 5:16-18.
• The neglect of this duty is the cause of so many falls.

Jesus said, “If you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” This statement of our Savior is very helpful for salvation, and we must ponder it attentively. We will be blessed if we know the heavenly commands, yet still more so if we eagerly pursue in our works the things that we know. One who neglects to keep his known commandments is not capable of being happy; one who scorns finding out about these [commandments] is separated much further away from the heritage of the blessed. The psalmist agrees with this. Weighing the hearts of mortals and in like manner perceiving that everyone loves happiness but few ask where it is, he clearly testified as to what is the greatest happiness of human beings in this life, saying, “Blessed are those who are undefiled in the way, who walk in the Lord’s law.” And lest it be supposed that this way of the undefiled and blessed can be laid hold of indiscriminately by the ignorant and the untaught, he subsequently continued and said, “Blessed are they who search his testimonies and seek him with their whole heart.” – Bede*, Homilies on the Gospels 2.5.

*Bede the Venerable (c.672/673-735). Born in Northumbria, at the age of seven, he was put under the care of the Benedictine monks of Saints Peter and Paul at Jarrow and given a broad classical education in the monastic tradition. Considered one of the most learned men of his age.

Why is it that in a country of laws, and one as litigious as the United States, these laws of God as manifested in Christ are so wantonly ignored? So many seem to have an attorney on speed dial. During this time of Lent let’s take our eyes off of ourselves and our grievances and instead take a hard look at walking a different Way.

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Lent 2012: a series on Psalm 119 to clean my “messy house”

When I was considering what to do as a series of posts for Lent I had considered the Psalms. Today I came across someone who had suggested writing in regards to the longest psalm, Number 119, and all of its 176 verses. Overwhelming to be sure, but when I did some research and learned that the psalm could be divided into twenty-two sections of eight verses each, I thought it a great idea. Then tonight I came across this story by Kathleen Norris from the book Bread And Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter:

When I’m working as an artist-in-residence at parochial schools, I like to read the psalms out loud to inspire the students, who are usually not aware that the snippets they sing at Mass are among the greatest poems in the world. But I have found that when I have asked children to write their own psalms, their poems often have an emotional directness that is similar to that of the biblical psalter. They know what it’s like to be small in a world designed for big people, to feel lost and abandoned. Children are frequently astonished to discover that the psalmists so freely express the more unacceptable emotions, sadness and even anger, even anger at God, and that all of this is in the Bible that they hear read in church on Sunday morning.

Children who are picked on by their big brothers and sisters can be remarkably adept when it comes to writing cursing psalms, and I believe that the writing process offers them a safe haven in which to work through their desires for vengeance in a healthy way. Once a little boy wrote a poem called “The Monster Who Was Sorry.” He began by admitting that he hates it when his father yells at him: his response in the poem is to throw his sister down the stairs, and then to wreck his room, and finally to wreck the whole town. The poem concludes: “Then I sit in my messy house and say to myself, ‘I shouldn’t have done all that.”

“My messy house” says it all: with more honesty than most adults could have mustered, the boy made a metaphor for himself that admitted the depth of his rage and also gave him a way out. If that boy had been a novice in the fourth-century monastic desert, his elders might have told him that he was well on the way toward repentance, not such a monster after all, but only human. If the house is messy, they might have said, why not clean it up, why not make it into a place where God might wish to dwell?

*****

And that little story sealed the deal. Because I love the Psalms. I didn’t always, but after spending a lot of time with them while praying the Liturgy of the Hours with the Church I have developed a real appreciation for these beautiful poems from Holy Scripture. And so for twenty-two of the forty days of Lent I will be doing an exercise of which I hope you’ll find useful. I’m going to look at the Psalm in its twenty-two parts and, using a few books and commentaries I own, do a verse-by-verse commentary of the Psalm. Most utilized will be Ancient Christian Commentary on Scripture (Old Testament, Vol. 8: Psalms 51-150) from InterVarsity Press and Haydock’s Catholic Bible Commentary, 1859 edition.

As Kate writes at Australia Incognita, Psalm 119

is an extended meditation on the importance of God’s law. It is a psalm above all about the path to happiness, as its first line makes clear:

“Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the LORD!”

The first eight verses of this psalm in the original Hebrew begin with Aleph, which is the name of the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. The second eight verses begin with Beth, the name of the second letter of the Hebrew alphabet; and so to the end of the whole alphabet, in all twenty-two letters, each letter having eight verses. The poem is an acrostic; its twenty-two stanzas are in the order of the Hebrew alphabet. Each of the eight verses within a stanza begins with the same letter. Each verse contains one word for “instruction. There are nine words for “instruction,” not eight, so the principle of a different word for “instruction” in each verse cannot be maintained with perfect consistency. The nine words for “instruction” in the translation are: law, statute, commandment, precept, testimony, word, judgment, way, and promise.

There is a tradition that King David used this psalm to teach his young son Solomon the alphabet—but not just the alphabet for writing letters: the alphabet of the spiritual life. Others believe that he composed it while he himself was young, and persecuted by Saul. It seems very probable, that David wrote it for the consolation of the captives.

The Israelites might recite this psalm on their journey, three times a-year, to the temple, as Psalm 119 comes immediately before the fifteen gradual canticles that follow. These are associated literally with the pilgrimage to Jerusalem for major Jewish feasts and the climb up the steps of the Temple, and spiritually with the Ascent to heaven. This psalm is letting us know that as a preparation for the celebration of the Resurrection at Easter it is necessary to reflect on the Law of God.

Like the child who wrote “The Monster Who Was Sorry” that Ms. Norris referred to in her story, I must confess that my house is messy. There are things I really shouldn’t have done. I’ve sat in the middle of the mess for too long and it’s time to throw open the windows to my soul and give my heart a good spring cleaning. I hope that you’ll join me on this journey as tomorrow we begin by taking a look at verses 1 through 8.