Immediately. God Alone. Leave Us.

Amy Welborn would probably blanch at my saying this, but she is ever more a hero to me now. She was before as a provider of inspiration when it came to the field of blogging and writing and praying. But since the loss of her beloved husband Michael in such a sudden manner she is demonstrating the moxi and resolve of someone who doesn’t just talk the talk. She truly is walking the walk of a Christian in a time of great sorrow, confusion and questioning. She is doing it with grace.

Two of her recent posts demonstrate this beyond all doubt. Euthus and Yes. I defy you to not cry, nor to be more proud, of that woman than I am.

I will miss Michael as someone whose books I read, whose blog I read, and with whom I had exchanged an email or two. Not much really, but in this age of communication it was just a glimpse of the man…a personal touch. Amy and her family lost very much more.

But I believe that she is also finding more than she ever imagined. From Euthus:

There are stages, there are layers, there are bridges. There is a void, my best friend in the world is just – gone.  But in this moment I am confronted with the question, most brutally asked, of whether I really do believe all that I say I believe.  Into this time of strange, awful loss, Jesus stepped in. He wasted no time. He came immediately. His presence was real and vivid and in him the present and future, bound in love, moved close. The gratitude I felt for life now and forever and what had prepared us for this surged, I was tempted to push it away for the sake of propriety, for what is expected, for what was supposed to be normal – I was tempted to say, “Leave me” instead of accepting the Hand extended to me and to immediately allow him to define my life.

But I did not give into that temptation, and a few hours later I was able to do what I dreaded, what I thought was undoable, to be in a mystery that was both presence and absence and to not be afraid. To not be afraid for him, and for the first time ever in my entire life – to not be afraid for myself , either.

At last.

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